


weren't we birds of a feather?

by sosojiwa



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Toxic Relationship, i was... not in a very good place back then?, i wrote this way back in august, idk how to tag this, sorry!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 07:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19389823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sosojiwa/pseuds/sosojiwa
Summary: in which whizzer's relationship with marvin has put him in a bad spot (mentally, anyway), and whizzer is desperate to leave.





	weren't we birds of a feather?

**Author's Note:**

> started: august 3rd, 2018 ; 3:22 am  
> finished: august 3rd, 2018 ; 6:32 am  
> (with light revisions made today, june 27th 2019 (11:04 pm to 11:45 pm) to allow for a more enjoyable reading experience.)
> 
> title is from hadestown's "hey, little songbird".
> 
> hello!  
> this is kinda dark and hella somber, but i was in a relationship back in the day and i was not a very happy camper? but, hey, at least it made the emotions in it a bit more real.  
> this was originally written as a vent piece.  
> i'm only posting it now because i just rediscovered it in my google drive and thought it was worthy of sharing.

“Listen, Whizzer.”

The gentle rain outside pattered against the windows and the roof, the soothing sound nearly drowning out the voice of the woman who had uttered the two words. The man in question quirked a brow in response and leaned back in his chair, lazily swirling around the tea in front of him in an attempt to cool it slightly. He waited for the brunette before him to go on as he continued to stir his tea, but after a moment of stirring, he realized that she wouldn’t continue until she was certain she had his full attention.

He sighed and stopped stirring the herbal drink and leaned closer to her, wondering for a split second as to what she was going to say that required his undivided attention. They’d been sitting across from one another over tea and buttered dinner rolls (Whizzer was supposed to buy biscuits, though he had blanked and didn’t remember he was supposed to buy those instead; unfortunately, such a realization had struck him after he had already paid for the rolls) for a few hours now, like they always did twice a month. It puzzled him as to why she would’ve waited for this much time to pass before telling him… whatever she was about to tell him.

“I’m listening.”

“Mendel thinks I despise you and Marv thinks I want nothing to do with you— which may have been the case two years ago, but not anymore. I really do think you’re a great guy now that we’ve been able to bond over tea—“ (Whizzer could hear her mutter something along the lines of ‘I still don’t know how you don’t like green tea’ under her breath, and his lips quirked up slightly in turn) “—and um.. I honestly just want the best for you, Whizzer.” She paused, glancing up at the ceiling light for but a moment and licking her lips, “I guess I’m trying to say— be careful with Marv? We both know how he is, and I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“Trina, I know how to take care of myself and I appreciate the concern, but.. try not to worry so much about me, alright?” Whizzer responded after a moment of listening to the rain as silence settled between the two, a small smile forming on his face. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze, “I promise everything will turn out alright.”

In turn, he offered him a smile of her own and nodded, “God, I hope you’re right.” Her eyes wandered over to the clock mounted on the wall by one of the grand windows of the home and she sighed, for Mendel would be home from whatever psychiatrist-y things he did during the day. “You’d best get going,” she said, gently pulling her hand away from his and standing, already working to clean the table. 

Whizzer nodded, “Yeah. I’ll— see you soon?”

She could only hum an affirmative as he made his way toward the front door and took his leave, his mind a mess and the rain being the only thing there to soothe him as he started to walk toward the all-too familiar apartment complex of Marvin’s. The words of the brunette’s ex-wife lingered in his mind throughout his walk and he could only hope that he didn’t end up breaking the promise.

Well, despite such hopes, after a few months, Whizzer most certainly believed himself to be breaking the promise.

Marvin had been completely elated when Whizzer had opened up to him again and allowed him to 'make up' for all of the wrongings he committed during their first go at a relationship. He felt as blissfully in love as anyone could possibly feel, and it was all due to Whizzer. The noirette made him feel important with each of his actions; the jokes he told would restore a long lost sparkle in his eyes; the home-cooked meals Whizzer would prepare would bring a smile to his face and make a sense of warmth wash over him, even though they certainly weren’t the best meals; the way he would play with his hair to make it look more ‘fashionable’ when they’re both barely conscious and clinging to one another would always cause him to grin and pepper his face in kisses as he came to. He felt loved and warm and just... all around happier all due to his sweet Whizzer.

This Marvin was a significant contrast to the husk of a man he once was due to the noirette being absent in his life— that Marvin was a Marvin that brought a bitter taste to everyone’s mouths and affected their moods rather negatively. Jason would dread the weekends, since they meant he had to spend two days with his father, and would always ask him if he could have a sleepover with Les (Marvin always agreed, simply because he didn’t want to make his son more miserable than he already was from being near him). Mendel, despite this not being the best practice, would often tell Marvin he was fully booked if the brunette would call in trying to schedule an appointment (Mendel would lie to him, purely because he knew that a session with Marvin would, undoubtedly, devolve into him crying over Whizzer and yelling about how Mendel was wrong if he tried to do his job and offer some advice).

As for Trina? She avoided Marvin like the plague.

Looking in on their rekindled relationship from the outside, they seemed happy, and hell, Marvin even thought Whizzer to be completely in love and just so happy with their relationship. Except, Whizzer felt quite the opposite. He felt trapped in his relationship with controlling Marvin, who had only changed slightly from the man he used to be. Same old ignorant Marvin who only seemed to keep him around so he could have someone to pepper him with compliments, and it soon became clear to the noirette that the ferocity in which he loved the brunette wasn’t being reciprocated in the slightest. The rare times he managed to get Marvin to whisper words of love upon his ears were in due to Whizzer going out of his way to ask something such as “Why do you love me, Marv?” or an “I love you” that would only be met with a simple “I love you, too” in turn. So rarely was Marvin the one who instigated the three words, and quite frankly, Whizzer was getting tired of going on like this.

When Marvin had told him he had changed, he had thoroughly believed him, though he regrets being so trusting of the brunette. Perhaps it was all due to the bright, burning flame of love deep within him that was rekindled by the Marvin. Perhaps that same spark was what caused him to take him back into his life. Despite how many times the noirette has tried to smother that flame and end this relationship, his attempts were quickly soiled simply from Marvin adding more tinder to the flame, making Whizzer momentarily feel too comfortable and loved to leave. He hated living like this and he so desperately wanted to end it, but… he simply couldn’t bring himself to do so.

He supposed that trying to take up more of Marvin’s attention and smothering the man with his affections would at least make him reciprocate some of it, though all he got out of his attempts to amp it up was just the ever-present ache in his chest to swell after each attempt. The brunette seemed to not take notice to anything the noirette did and instead smiled as Whizzer’s words of love fell upon his ears like gospel songs of praise, picking up a normal conversation about something utterly random instead of even trying to return the affection.

Whizzer began to grow tired and bitter due to throwing up love for a man he was slowly starting to become sick of being around, his mood souring more and more with each second they spent together. The unique little mischievous glint that could usually found within his eyes was dulling day by day until it was completely absent from his dark eyes. Instead of murmuring words of love, he would sometimes turn instead to murmuring bitter phrases along the lines of “Do you still care?” and “What exactly am I to you, Marvin?”, his mind in shambles due to thoughts such as “Am I just not enough anymore?” that began to break down at his well-being.

Now, he made the comments simply because he knew he would at least get a reaction out of Marvin in response, despite the fact the reaction was never really positive. He made the comments simply because he didn’t know how to actually approach the brunette without causing a massive fight. Based on his own personal experience and the experiences of Trina (all of which she had described to him in great detail during a few of their monthly chats), it looked as if it were impossible to talk to Marvin without causing a fight.

Each of Whizzer’s quips would spark a fight between them, though none of them were ever major enough to cause Marvin to completely give up in the matter of seconds and call it quits with Whizzer (the noirette doesn’t want that— or maybe he does? He doesn’t even know how to feel about their relationship at this point). While the fights usually weren't too rough, Marvin would sometimes get rather heated over them, yelling and screaming about how he’s “trying his hardest” (“Then why is it I do everything for us?”), how Whizzer “can’t even support his own lover”, and hell, even threaten to leave Whizzer as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 

While Whizzer knew that such a threat was nothing more than empty, the idea of Marvin leaving still hurt him to imagine. During these wicked arguments, he would cry and try defend himself despite knowing fully well that his off-handed comments toward the brunette were what got him into this position into the first place, eyes looking everywhere except Marvin. He would allow the frustrated yells of Marvin fall upon his ears and rip apart his mind despite the fact that he should be the one yelling his numerous frustrations at the brunette. He was simply allowing this horrid cycle to rinse and repeat, too afraid to speak his mind.

After their fights they would always be reduced to nothing more than crying messes (Whizzer more so than Marvin) in each others arms, apologies spilling from their lips, sobs mixed in with their words. Whizzer would try his best to mend and patch things between them despite the fact that it would get him absolutely nowhere in the end, and in those moments, Marvin would actually bother to show some sort of care and attempt to comfort the noirette, whispering promises of how he promised to improve and be more loving—

Promises that would, undoubtedly, be broken come sunrise. 

Such a cycle wasn’t at all healthy and Whizzer was fully aware of it, and he was most certainly fully aware of the fact that perhaps life would be better for the both of them if their relationship drew to a close, even if that meant it had to go down in flames due to Marvin overreacting severely to the concept of splitting up. He certainly would sit Marvin down and call it quits if he could gather up the courage to stand up to the brunette, although he couldn’t find it within himself to do so. He was too afraid of what consequences would arise from such a decision, too afraid to let go of the man he once considered to be home.

The noirette wasn’t the most open person (especially when it came to his feelings and the inner workings of his personal life), so it came as quite the surprise to Trina when he showed up at her front door one day, a sobbing mess now that he decided that he was truly fed up with his relationship with Marvin. It was quite the surprise to Whizzer when Trina, the same lady who once viewed him as a homewrecking idiot who had essentially just turned her entire world on it’s head, brewed him a steaming cup of black tea and let him pour out his heart to her. She listened and understood him quite well, even though Whizzer was stumbling over every other word he spoke and hiccuping in the pauses between his sentences.

“I told you to be careful, Whizz.” 

Her voice was heavy with emotion as the sentence dripped from her quivering lips, her brain aflame as it began to internalize all of the words that had poured from the man's lips. Unlike Marvin, she had actually bothered to listen to all of his complaints about the relationship and talked it out with him despite it being around four in the morning by the time Whizzer had stopped talking. “You’re not yourself,” she would say, “This is harming you more than it’s helping you, and I know how Marv is, Whizzer. You and I both know he’d be noticing this shit if he actually bothered to read between the lines.”

Rarely did Trina swear. She meant business.

So, from there, the two of them spent another hour conversing and devising a plan that Whizzer would be comfortable with following, all with the end goal being that he would be a single man once more. The noirette took his leave just as Jason began to stir awake, and the boy could hear the front door shut and the soft sobbing of his mother— his mother, who could only pray that Marvin wouldn't do anything stupid in response to the noirette’s wish to split up.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to say this right now: i'm not in that relationship anymore and im fine now blah blah blah  
> (oh, and it wasnt to this degree but it was still bad. yknow. gotta exaggerate things for a compelling story, plus it needs to suit the whizzvin dynamic yknow)  
> i'm rebuilding my friendship w/ that person right now, and i couldn't be happier. we were just idiots back then, i guess, but it's all said and done now. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed reading this, though!  
> thank u for reading, mwah mwah, comments and kudos, of course, are always appreciated! <3


End file.
